/ 9-11-2001

Home Protection Kit

<p>Worried about that maximum tonnage of missing Anthrax?  DHS threat levels got you down?  Not to worry.  The good folks at MG Packaging have assembled <a href="http://www.mgpackaging.com/mgprodsite/">everything you need</a>, and it&#8217;s ready to ship!</p>

<p>Yes, for thirty five bucks (plus shipping) you get one roll of plastic sheeting, and two (not one, but two) rolls of duct tape!!  WOW!</p>

<p>Act now, as this sick exploitation of the fears of American citizens for cash money probably won&#8217;t last.  And you really want to see this, because the illustration on the homepage is downright scary.</p>

<p>The ad depicts a construction worker (?) holding an &#8220;alert&#8221; sign.  This is apparently the way DHS threat levels are telegraphed in some areas of the country.  To make matters worse, our harbinger of doom is sans right hand (presumably chewed it off in a nervous nail-biting incident gone awry), and is sporting inky black nipples that appear to protrude right through his undershirt.  One can only hope that this is not some  greusome deformation that occurs when one is not Prepared.</p>

<p>I&#8217;m also a little worried; I mean, I&#8217;m no scientist, but the image depicts a box with the advertised contents in it.  First off, there appears to be no way for the box to be sealed with those two rolls of duct tape protruding far above the top of the box.  This leads to the next question; how can two rolls of duct tape tower over a supposedly TEN FOOT roll of friggin&#8217; plastic sheeting??!!  </p>

<p>And besides, nowhere in their ad do they specify the thickness, in friggin .MLs, of the sheeting.  I counsel caution when ordering from these yahoos.</p>