Well, I’m back. I’m on the 8:13 express right now, crawling toward Manhattan. I got a seat, but the train was late. Yes, I’m complaining. Nothing like a morning commute to erase any positive vibe you may be riding on following a week away from the daily grind.
Oh, and, by the way, I have a proposal for the airlines. I suggest that all passengers should be subject to this: if you are a fat slob, so overbudget in the girth department that your volume literally spills into the space that belongs to the passenger next to you, Either pony up the cash for a first class seat, buy two coach seats (since you really take up 1.5 of those anyway), or take the damned train. I’m totally serious about this. Three hours of direct bodily contact with your funk is NOT what I paid for, and it’s not fair. It would be trivial to determine some set of measurements that would determine the cutoff point, like those little signs they have at the amusement park where the kids have to stand in front of a little cartoon character holding a ruler, which determines if the child is tall enough to go on the ride. They could have a little sign depicting a happy airline passenger, sitting in a coach seat and using up his alotted space and no more. If a passenger stands in front of this sign, and COMPLETELY OBLITERATES the happy airline passenger from view, including the armrest and half the seat next to him, it’s safe to say that he needs to upgrade. I think I may work on a few prototypes.