/ laffs

genboobs

If you are not a Radiance/UNIX geek, you will not get this. There are like 200 people worldwide that will find this amusing. I love niche humor; it's gonna be my new thing.

On the Radiance list, my friend Roland joked with Radiance’s author: “Dammit Greg, we want a Pam Anderson primitive in RADIANCE! :^)”

In response to this, and in the spirit of useful Radiance scene generators like genbox, gensurf and genrev, I offer genboobs. Here is the manpage:


NAME

genboobs – Pamela Anderson generator

SYNOPSIS

genoobs [options] mat name asiz bsiz csiz

DESCRIPTION

Genboobs produces a RADIANCE scene description of a Pamela Anderson. Options may be given on the command line and/or read from the environment and/or read from a file. The article of clothing is a thong bikini; this is hard coded into the program, and is not changeable. Specify the material of the thong with mat. The material must be previously defined.

-h col

Set hair color to col. Blonde is the default.

-c siz

Set cup size to siz. DD is obviously the default.

-i quo

Set intelligence quotient to quo. 3 is the default.

-n fac

Set nipple factor to fac, determined on a scale from 0 to 1, where 0 means the nipples are never firm enough to make a visible impression on the bikini top, and 1 means the nipples are perpetually hard. 2 is the default, which means the nipples themselves were surgically augmented, to the point where you could hang your hat on the damned things. Values above .3 are unrealistic except in brisk weather, but who cares, this is a Pamela Anderson generator.

EXAMPLE

To produce a model measuring 38DD-26-34, wearing a white leather thong, enough smarts to keep you vaguely interested through dinner conversation and somewhat believable nipples:

genboobs -c DD -i 70 -n .4 white-leather-Pammy-01 38 26 34

BUGS

Excessive use of the -c parameter can cause geometry errors.

Attempting to use void in place of a valid material for the clothing will not have the desired effect. The ability to change clothing type is planned for a future release.

AUTHOR

Rob Guglielmetti


For those of you who are going “what the hell just happened?”, I apologize.