/ media

boobcot

Well, what the hell did I know?

I decided to protest the Super Bowl the year that the entire sham would bottom out, with an envoy from the Jackson Media Royal Dysfunctional Family presenting bare proof that the media and big business -- and sex, sex, sex -- are running the show. Oh well.

Of course, my friend sent me an animated gif file of the whole debacle, complete with a close-up jpeg of the star-pasty glued on to Ms. Jackson’s right-hand 38-C nip. So the endless cavalcade of swipes which inevitably appeared on last night’s Jon Stewart Show, directed at Ms. Jackson, CBS, the NFL and all of the idiots that tuned into that mindless waste of time came as no surprise. Thanks, Phil.

But I would have eventually figured it all out. See, the front page of today’s New York Post—featuring an article on CBS’s retaliatory swipe at Justin & Janet—consisted of nothing more than a full-page color photo of the Super Bowl Sex Show’s climax and the headline “TIT FOR TAT”, in something like 100 point type. The photo inside (complete with pixelated booby) was large enough to easily see the snaps that once held Ms. Jackson’s right-boob leather cup in place. You know, before the malfunction. This was absolutely hysterical when I saw it on display at the newsstand as I left Penn Station. Then, about ten minutes later I was in the deli getting breakfast and I saw what appeared to be about a nine-year-old boy holding a copy of the same paper while he & his dad got breakfast. Nine years old, holding a piece publication with a naked breast AND the word “tit” on it! When I was nine, I had to stage an end-of-month raid on the dumpster at the Seven-Eleven for some of that action.

This is one reason why I don’t have kids. On Sunday my son would have asked “why did that man rip her shirt off, daddy?” And I would have said, “because people are scum, son. Now give me that New York Post. Here’s a copy of ‘Highlights’; read this until you’re thirty, and then we’ll talk”.

Well, it’s good at least to see the CBS execs all in a tizzy about this obviously and unfortunately accidental, totally unplanned event. Because you can’t effectively be a neo-nazi, conservative organization while being in the business of smut peddling. It just doesn’t work.

Well, actually it seems to be working just fine.