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Photography 101, by Andre 3000

Don’t you just hate it when corporations barge in on the entertainment industry and spoil all the fun? Polaroid is the latest party pooper, issuing a statement reminding people that they should not, in fact, shake their Polaroid pictures to facilitate the development process. This comes in direct contrast to Outkast singer Andre 3000’s instructions to “shake it like a Polaroid picture” in their smash hit single “Hey Ya!”.

So, THAT’S why all my pictures from the Snoop Dogg celebrity booty slap-it-up fest and misogyny masters festival came out all wrong! I thought it was the huge cloud of marijuana smoke that fogged the lens. Damn you, Andre 3000! When I got my new Polaroid camera the first thing I did was load up “Hey Ya!” on my sound system, eagerly absorbing all the photography tips that dripped from his tongue, and now all I have to show for it is a bunch of ruined snaps. Damn.

Thank goodness Polaroid’s PR folks have come to the fore and are speaking out about this erroneous information. There’s even some information about it on their website. I only hope they are not too late.