Fuzzy Bob Steps Down
It ain’t exactly “U.S. Marshals“.
Today, Boulder’s local paper ran a fairly well-reseached, honest piece of journalism, yet it reads like something out of The Onion. Ward, Colorado, you see, is in need of some new police. The town’s only state-certified lawman, Robert “Fuzzy Bob” Spratford, is retiring—leaving only two guys named Skinny Pete and Tiny to protect and serve.
Ward, Colorado is this quirky little semi-ghost town, a relic from the mining boom. Once the richest town in Colorado during the Gold Rush, it’s now populated with folks who thought even Boulder was too conservative and thus headed for the hills. Filled with anti-establishment types and a rather large collection of broken-down vehicles, Ward incorporated as a home-rule town and thus lives by its own rules, not necessarily those of Boulder County—hence the all-volunteer, all-hippie cop force.
I doubt Tommy Lee Jones would be cast to portray Fuzzy Bob Spratford; Willie Nelson’s a more likely candidate. After all, Willie’s already got the pony tail, and the truck that burns biodiesel.
Full Article: “Ward considers options as marshal steps down”
RSS
EMAIL
5 comments
You ever heard the story of why for those cars on the side of the road?
no; do tell!
Two stories I’ve heard. In order of authority.
1. It started in the 70s or maybe late 80s during the Cold War. Many people reportedly planned to head for the hills and live off the land should the Big One drop, or should the commies invade a la “Red Dawn.”
Residents of Ward already live in the hills and didn’t like the idea of claim jumping cityslickers coming to use up their water/game/forage. Decrepit cars and other junkyard refuse were moved to side of the road to make quick roadblocks during calamaty should the Huddled Masses of Front Rangers try to escape to their vacation cabins.
2. This story is more recent. Wealthy Boulderites started buying up some property around Ward. Locals didn’t like what that was doing to their property values—they like their trashy houses. Junk kept on side of roads to keep property values depressed and hopefully keep the riff raff away.
not so well researched—while Fuzzy Bob does exist, the reporter was jived—there is no Tiny or Skinny Pete. Latest article, more of the same; she interviewed
the mayor supposedly, said he was also the postmaster. Not. She doesn’t even
know who she interviewed.
More quality reporting from the Daily Camera; I should have known better than to quote from that source. Thanks for the info.
Leave a Comment