Quotes: The Complete List
What follows is the complete listing of my random quotes database. This is a random collection of quotations from movies, tv and even Real Life that I have deemed worthy of appearing on the sidebar of my blog. I am quite certain that many of the people quoted here have no idea that they have made my sidebar. If you have the chance, you should let them know.
"Each day I feel a little better, it feels like things are coming back, (But) I've still got to think a little bit too much. And, obviously, if I'm thinking, then that's not good."
"The corners are bent on my Friendly Fire, and somebody stole my Wolf Blitzer"
"The total download size for all major Windows98 patch and update files is a tad over 300MB. That's larger than the original Win98 operating system itself!"
"Lucky!"
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on,... shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
"We consider ourselves bi-coastal, if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts."
"...it's like, how many babies, you know, fit in the tire? You know, that old joke."
"The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I'm talking about drawing a line in the SAND, Dude... across this line, you DO NOT--also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
"This one goes to eleven."
"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon—with nail polish."
"By the way, it says 'balls' on your face."
"In 1934 the Reichswehr Ministerium (Defence Ministry) became the Reichskriegsministerium (Ministry of War), which showed commendable honesty."
"It's after six. What am I, a farmer?"
"Y'all hear that?! We're usin' code names."
"When I'm taxiing my jet around the flight deck, I'm not just going where I wanna go, I'm always under the direction of one of these flight directors; if I take my eyes off him for an instant, the chances that, if I'm on my own program, I could run into something up there: another jet, a piece of equipment, uh, one of the aircrew..."
"If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigga hidden in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass."
"Grow up Heather, bulimia is so '87."
"Don't get cunty."
"Toosh, you fucker."
"The computers still suck a lot..."
"I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but can I hear more from Gareth, please?"
"...you never hear a physicist go: 'It's a muon, you cunt!'"
"I don't wanna badmouth the kid, but he's a horrible, dishonest, immoral louse. And I say that with all due respect."
"How da fuck would Patsy know we clipped Spoons?"
"The rose goes in the front, big guy."
"I'd say hug it out, but I don't want you drawin' wood."
"Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that."
"I'll tell ya Sil, these new flat screens? No glare, high definition; I was watchin' 'On the Waterfront' down Sears, Karl Malden's nose hairs looked like fuckin' BX cables."
"Will you please stop feeding the dog from the table from the plate on top of it!?"
"I always likened Dan Quayle to Dan Tanna's assistant Binzer on the old 'Vega$' show: you let him answer the phones, but he does not drive the T-Bird".
"Oh lord have mercy; I'd better not see her naked on payday."
"The gun was on the fritz!"
"Ben Kingsley... can he do a New Jersey accent?"
"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"
"This is an environment of welcoming; and, you should just get the hell out of here."
"Your angerball blew up the television!"
"Sometimes I think I'll go berserk, throw the 'Country A through K' rack out on the street and go work in a Virgin Megastore and never come back again...''
"But they're not talking! Don't you remember what happened with the provolone?!"
"Yanks in fouh; I was deah."
"Can I ask you two a question, since I feel we have such rapport? Is that a vagina on the wall?"
"I do meditation at that hour of the morning, and I was irritated at having it interrupted."
"I believe it was Ghandi who once said: 'Whatevs.'"
"Is it organic?"
"But I love NJ; without it, we'd have absolutely no material."
"Bicuspid! We meet again..."
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
"He was such a good dog, when we got him..."
"A mutt is a dog. He is the stuff of dogginess, a creature allied to species, not breed, and untrammelled by human hand or preference. A mutt knows that you have chosen him for himself, and not because he is of the type you set out to get."
"...I get an error: 'we: undefined variable'. Is there something wrong with my environment (aside from going into New York City on a perpetually late, crowded train every day, I mean)?"
"Good; I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
"Wikipedia, dude."
"I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf!"
"This is cancer, right?"
"...Isaac Newton invented gravity 'cause some asshole hit him in the head wit an apple!"
"...A fourth possibility, almost too obvious to need mentioning, is that Jesus was honestly mistaken."
"You're only as good as your last envelope; you know that!"
"Well you see, I'm old fashioned, I don't believe in extra-marital relations; I believe people should mate for life, like pigeons, or... Catholics."
"I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic--I mean, I'm not sorry if you're offended (by my act), I'm sorry for the fact that you're Catholic."
"I believe most of these guys are--I believe ALL of these guys are clean...for the most part."
"I hate that the bicycle is made out to be something political. ...if automobiles ran on pixie dust and had zero carbon emissions, I would still ride a bicycle. I am a cyclist, and riding a bicycle is a love and a passion."
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