A New Low


They've done it again; just when you thought you were fully Boulder Whole Foods Battle Hardened, these people manage to redefine solipsism. Lemme tell ya what happened. The other day I'm in the BWF, and I roll up to a cashier with my basket. The cashier was just finishing up with the customer ahead of me, counting change, asking if she wanted her receipt, etc. Meanwhile, I started unloading the items from my basket onto the conveyor belt. As the cashier was done with the previous customer, she turned to me and started scanning my items, and she goes: "Thanks for unloading your basket." Say fucking what?! After doing a Lewis Black-style head shake, I begged for clarification. "Do you…

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Elk Insanity


You'd think that after seven years of living in Boulder, CO this shit wouldn't faze me anymore, but, alas. Since there's no way this made the national news, let me tell ya what happened here in our little hamlet of Boulder on New Year's Day. An on-duty Boulder cop shot and killed an elk that was within the city limits. Said elk had been visiting the neighborhood -- which is at the west end of town, right up against the mountains and open space -- for the past few weeks, and apparently the townsfolk had grown fond of the majestic creature. Said cop claims that the elk appeared to be injured, and he euthanized it out of mercy for the…

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The Price of Freedom


I recently read a righty editorial that suggested the notion that the massacre at Sandy Hook was the "price of freedom" -- that the right of all American adults to own firearms is inherently going to make such massacres possible, even regular. And you know what? I totally get that. I agree. Problem is, I said the exact same thing about 9-11, in the context of the impending PATRIOT Act that was being rammed through Congress, which has stripped Americans of their right to privacy in the name of national security. I still believe that another major terrorist attack on our soil is the price of freedom. (And besides, even without the PATRIOT Act, Cheney -- excuse me, Bush --…

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Rebuttal


A friend of mine recently asked me to post a clarification to a comment on one of her Facebook posts. My friend had posted this piece about how climate change skeptics/denialists are so underrepresented in the scientific literature, and someone hit back with many of the standard denialist talking points, including such hits as: There is very much a debate The science is still not settled The government is not financing skeptical science ...when the "piers"(i.e. pier(sic) reviewers) are all alarmist we get--to use a climate science term--a feedback loop there is not one model that has been able to accurately backcast and forecast the climate I'm not a denialist; I'm a skeptic I (now) believe…

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The Way it Should Be


Today I stopped in at my credit union, to get a credit card. I had recently told Bank of America to go fuck themselves, and to take the credit card account I had with them for years and shove it up their asses, because they are the devil and all of their upper management should die. Hopefully, my wish will come true. The card is canceled, at least; we can hope for a positive outcome on the execs who should all die. Meanwhile, I'd still like to have more than just my debit card in my wallet, especially when I travel, so I have at least two magnetic stripes to get me access to food, plane tickets, booze, hotel rooms,…

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James


James was a little boy. Nine years old. We say "old", as in "nine years old", but nine years on earth is not a long time and does not make you old. Certainly not old enough to die. One of my former co-workers had a son. His name was James. I think you can tell what happened. Doing some research the best I can tell is that James had acute lymphoblastic leukemia, but the exact diagnosis is irrelevant at this point. Suffice to say, it was cancer. The Big Casino, as Uncle Junior called it on "The Sopranos". Indeed. One never knows how Lady Luck is gonna deal the cards, and James got a shitty hand -- years ago. And…

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Art & Copy


So, I finally saw this movie I've been meaning to see for a while, "Art & Copy". It's a sad, disgusting (read: excellent) documentary about the collection of whores and egomaniacs working in the advertising business, and, by extension, about everything that is wrong with our society. "By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...kill yourselves..." --Bill Hicks It was difficult to watch - painful, even; for a variety of reasons. Because my father's best friend (Jim Durfee) is in the film; because my father, my mother-in-law, and college friend all work(ed) in that horrible business. Because I knew from an early age that my father's profession had absolutely no nobility -- getting paid large…

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On Skeleton


Hold it, just hold on a fucking second. The last several Olympics, summer and winter, have carried a certain sporting elitist criticism on various new sports added to the games. Sports like snowboarding and BMX have been derided by various idiots as not being true sports, presumably because the sports' elite athletes utter words like "stoked" -- or the more vehement "totally stoked" -- to explain the inner workings of the sport. Frontside. Backside. Fakie. McTwist. Apparently these are unacceptable bastardizations of the English language, but somehow Slachow is perfectly acceptable conversation if you are listening to Scott Hamilton. Well, this shit all annoyed me but I pawned it off as old school stupidity and narrow mindedness -- until tonight,…

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Adaptations (aka: Happy Birthday, Evolution!)


Today is the 150th anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection", and I for one am feeling a little celebratory. The importance of Darwin's work cannot be understated. Last year, I took a couple of semesters worth of biology classes, and natural selection could be seen at work throughout those two very entertaining semesters, chapter after chapter, after chapter. Evolution's important shit, man! That Darwin concluded what he did before modern genetics science existed, is a testament to his genius. That evolution can be called into question as "just a theory" by noted scholars such as George W. Bush, and that this stance is perceived as acceptable to any rationally…

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Mad and Madder


Maureen Dowd's Op-ed piece in the Times yesterday was just great. As many Americans continue to struggle, Goldman, Morgan Stanley and JPMorgan Chase, banks that took government bailout money after throwing the entire world into crisis, have said they will dish out $30 billion in bonuses -- up 60 percent from last year. The saying used to be, whatever happens, the lawyers win. Now, it's whatever happens, the bankers win. This kind of stuff just pisses me off, and it's the kind of stuff that needs to be constantly brought to the surface because, well, because it does. And I was invigorated with a fresh dose of skepticism and hatred for these people, thanks to Ms. Dowd. Dare I say,…

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Your (sic) so Gay! (or, Baseball Fan Intelligence as Expressed in Facebook Status Messages)


I knew this would be a fun World Series, with two teams I like in there, and a good matchup to boot. With a large percentage of my Facebook friends hailing from the Philadelphia area, I detected a certain bias toward the Lesser League's team in the growing wave of "go team!" status messages over the last few days, and that's to be expected. After all, trash talking is how we as fans can participate in the game. Unfortunately, many of the sentiments expressed in the many Facebok status messages I saw last night ranged from infantile to eerily homophobic. Apparently, a favorite pastime is to call an opposing player a homosexual. For example, this zinger floated across my laptop…

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Thanks, Chase


Thank you Chase, for making my blood boil with rage enough to finally achieve enough inertia to log in to my long lost blog and post some bile. I should also give a shout-out to the asshole driving the cab to my hotel last week in Boston because that idiot is to blame for starting this little mess in the first place. Hi everyone! Yeah, so, I get in a cab at Logan and this guy takes me to my stately suite at the Holiday Inn; $23.30, the total. I swipe my card, feeling a pang of guilt over being so lazy (I probably had the cash, but didn't feel like digging through my wallet). Should have known. I…

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Change


I finished my last job on Friday, and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to start the new one the following Monday. Guess that means I start my new job tomorrow, and to say I'm excited would be an understatement. Today was a study in change, an awakening of a dormant mind. I realized I had been on autopilot for months, if not years, and was unhappy about it. Sure, I chose to do something about it a couple months ago, but today I realized just how unhappy I was, how frustrated I was with my old bosses, how disillusioned I had become with my current work. Part of that stems from the way my…

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RIP, Brent Graber


Brent Graber was a guy I casually knew, a co-owner of a fun little dog named Delaney. Brent and his brother were regulars at the ballfield near my house where Hooper & I spend many an evening. Last month, while Hooper was recuperating from his knee injury, Brent got hit by a car and had been in a coma ever since. I found out about Brent's unfortunate predicament a couple weeks after the fact, when Hooper & I returned to the ballfield. Ever since learning of Brent's unfortunate turn of events, I had been keeping tabs on him through a website his family had set up, and silently held out hope for a recovery of any kind. But tonight, at…

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Riled about Resumes


I read a recent post on Lifehacker this morning about resume writing (no, I'm not looking for a job, I just read Lifehacker religiously), and readers were encouraged to post their own tips and peeves in the comments. I thought I'd share my thoughts here. (Can you smell the rant coming from there?) First of all, when did listing your undergraduate GPA on the resume become fashionable? I have discovered, much to my chagrin, that there is a huge emphasis on grade point average in the veterinary school application process, but these people are reviewing applicants for the job of student, essentially. Further, it costs the grad school money to wash people out, so I can see how past performance…

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Migration and Lance


awright, I got my iPhone talking to my new user account. All I did was tell the "Applications" tab to sync with my iPhone, and it copied the apps to my new iTunes install. Then I did the "wipe", letting iTunes blow out my iPhone's music library. At this point, my contacts and iPhone apps are synchronous with the iTunes install on my new laptop's new user account. I spent an hour or so copying the music from my old user account to my new one, and after all that things aren't perfect, but they are good. My old files from my old user account are on my new laptop, and after a little terminal action I changed the permissions…

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Oh, and...


now my Time Capsule is not recognized by my new user account on my new machine. Soooooo glad I tried using the "easy" migration fucking "wizard" to make all this fucking bullshit easy. GOD DAMMIT. Will hit this in the morning after a night's rest. I'm sure I can solve this in the way I want, which is to continue to build a new user account on the new machine, from scratch. God dammit.…

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Feel the Rage


I fucking hate this shit. New computer, started setting up, got my iTunes all dialed in, then realized my goddamned motherfucking iPhone is really not interested in syncing with my new setup. Apparently, I was supposed to use the Apple Migration Assistant. That utility is fairly impressive, but now my Mail.app is busted, and I have a crapload of duplicated bytes in the form of redundant applications and all kinds of extra shit. The whole point of the new computer was to start fresh, and now I have one halfway setup user account on the new computer (that does not want to speak to my iPhone), and all the binary turdlets from my old computer copied over, with a…

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Words Fail Me


Oh my god, he did it! Barack defeated the idiots, the racists, the conservatives. He did it, he fucking did it! Colorado is a blue state, the United States has a new President-elect and a Democratic Senate majority. Now hey, I was 24 when Clinton was elected, ending twelve years of Republican rule. I heard similar rhetoric then, and similar projections of new beginnings, and I got semi-caught up in it. Does anyone remember the health care promises made back then? Thought so. No, I'm still a hard line cynic, and Obama's still a politician. But I am of course going to look to the future with a lot more hope than I have had following the last two Presidential…

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There's a Reason for the Silence:


I am unable to speak--have been for days--because I saw Bob Costas' Olympic hair. You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.…

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Let's Talk About Team Building


You wanna know the secret to happiness? You ready? Meeting avoidance. Especially the ones with a million people in a small stuffy room, featuring some smiling idiot waving his arms around and acting like personal insight and self-reflection is some kind of new fucking concept. I was unsuccessful at avoiding one of these types of meetings today, and I still have a headache. What the hell is this crap, this "team building" bullshit?! It's a colossal waste of time and money, time and money that will be bickered about at the end of the project when there is no budget left to get some actual work done. I spent four hours (FOUR HOURS!!) of my life today listening to some…

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Cross-burning Aside, Johnny's Good People


My old college roommate sent me this gem, an a.p. story out of Columbus, Ohio. Read to the end for the kicker; I even put it in bold type, not that it needs any emphasis. Ohio board reviews report of teacher burning kids By DOUG WHITEMAN, Associated Press Writer COLUMBUS, Ohio - Members of the Mount Vernon school board met Friday to discuss a finding that a middle school teacher preached his Christian beliefs despite staff complaints, even using a device to burn the image of a cross on students' arms. Mount Vernon Middle School teacher John Freshwater also taught creationism in his science class and was insubordinate in failing to remove a Bible and other religious materials from…

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News: Heartless Bitches can Raise Children and Pets (or, why I want to be a vet)


This shit makes me crazy. The local paper ran an article today about the booming pet care business, especially in dog-crazy Boulder. Here in Boulder, there is a "law" that encourages Boulder pet owners to refer to themselves as their pet's "guardians", not "owners". You know how I feel about this one; I have a receipt. But it gives you an idea of the mentality Boulder residents have towards their pets, and in general I think it's great. Here, our dogs are our kids. They hike (off-leash) with us, they frolic in the many dog parks, they are welcome in many businesses, not just the multitude of pet stores and pet bakeries (yes, pet bakeries), and they are everywhere. In…

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Cause and Effect


Ever since Brenda & I moved to Boulder there has been one glaring omission from our daily lives, and that is settling down to read a good local newspaper. Back in Jersey, the Star Ledger was an excellent paper that originated from the local county where we last lived in that state. We got great reporting and writing, on everything from the international to the very local. The sports page was phenomenal. Molly Ivins' column was printed regularly, and we had almost no use for the New York Times and its holier-than-thou masthead font (and pricing). Here in Boulder, we have the Daily Camera. Now, being a Boulder newspaper, the Camera boasts some interesting and fun features that definitely pander…

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Happy Earth Day (plus rant!)


Mornin' folks, happy Earth Day. I'm closing in on three years working for a sustainable design consultant, and I'm delighted to be applying my lighting design and simulation skills toward saving a little energy and creating more pleasant built environments. But I have to say, these years of observing how we work has taught me that we don't always help our cause when we act all holier-than-thou while making our case for sustainable living. Smug email signatures come to mind, for example. I think as a group, we need to be less preachy and while we're at it, maybe start walking the walk a little bit more. My office parking lot is filled with SUVs and luxury sedans, which I…

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Patriot


Webster's defines a patriot as "one who loves his or her country and supports its authority and interests". But with a country this divided, the term almost has no validity anymore. I mean, our country's "authority and interests" are presently defined by the Bush administration. Therefore, our country's so-called authority is bogus, stolen, abused, misused and illegally expanded. Our interests? Hegemony and Looking Out for Number One. Sure as hell, I don't support those. Am I not a patriot? The first patriots were revolutionaries. Maybe it's time to restore the original definition.…

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Here's the Deal


Clinton(s) suck, Obama is our best hope at the moment. Hillary, you are a hawk in a dress, and your move to New York to become a Senator and wage this campaign was sad, sorry and obvious, and you only feed the right wing machine. You have nothing to offer, yet take in millions (in big chunks) to spread your hollow messages about experience and how much you care about and have done for Texas and Ohio (at the moment). You suck, I hate you, and I have donated money to a political campaign for the first time in my life (obviously not for your sorry, smug ass) because I sincerely hope that Obama's momentum continues to roll right…

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Wikigagged


An editorial in today's Daily Camera mentions a recent judge's recent order to "disable" the domain name of wikileaks.org, a site that purportedly offers up Standard Operating Procedures for American troops in Iraq, Gitmo, and other evidence of corporate wrongdoing. Potentially interesting reading, and protected under the First Amendment for chrissakes. Luckily the judge is an idiot, and does not understand the domain naming system too well. Here's the IP address: http://88.80.13.160. As the editorial says, visit the site today. Do it to honor the First Amendment.…

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My New Anthem


My preferred candidates are already out of the race or are still languishing under the boot of Big Media so no one even knows who they are (Dodd's out? Dodd who?). I find myself wanting to comment on the race, and then again I like my blood pressure where it's at currently. So I simply offer the lyrics of this song, written by Ian MacKaye, as we march on toward November hoping for the best and expecting the worst. "Everybody Knows" The Evens You arrive with empty duffel bags, hungry eyed You looked around taking measurements to move inside The capital it is your proving ground, your centering You and yours can keep your scores, but Washington is our city…

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TiVo Upgrade


A while back I posted a tearful tribute, in song, to my dear departed TiVo. I still don't know what happened to it, but it was an old Series 2 with the "40 Hour" capacity. She served her owners proud for almost four years, and I decided it would be cheaper and certainly faster to replace it with a new box rather than try to fix old blue. The "80 hour" Series 2 TiVos are now yesterday's news, and apparently there was a big promotion through TiVo's website recently so there was a glut of those babies available on eBay. After losing several auctions by a buck, I finally scored one for eighty bucks and the seller was nice enough…

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The Night The TiVo Died


I'm so distraught, I put it into song: The Night the TiVo Died (sung to the tune of Paper Lace's "The Night Chicago Died") In the chill of a winter's night In the land of the yoga hippies When Rob & Brenda's TiVo died And they talk about it still When Rob arrived home from work Brenda displayed a nervous quirk She said "I have some bad news" And then she gestured towards the tube We heard Robbie cry We heard him pray the night the TiVo died Brother what a night it really was Brother what a plight it really was Live TV We heard Robbie cry We heard him pray the night the TiVo died Brother what a…

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Green Signatures in the News (Again)


Well, my silly little piece on "green" email signatures is in the news again, this time in the L.A. Times. When I wrote that, it was cathartic because I was so frustrated by a particular co-worker and his sanctimonious ways, and his mindless insistence that we all preach to our clients this message that I felt went without saying. Who knew it would become the single most popular post on my website and the source for two newspaper articles on green email signatures (and a television interview that as far as I know landed on the cutting room floor)? Of course the fact that I work in sustainable design and live in left-leaning Boulder Colorado made my frowny post…

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So Vino WAS on the Floyd Landis Recovery Diet!


Vino cracks, loses a half hour in the hills; his Tour is over. Next day, Vino takes a stage win in convincing fashion, thrills the fans. Hmmm... Son of a bitch, Vinokourov tested positive. The fuckin' idiot doped during the Tour de France, testing positive and getting his whole team kicked out of the Tour with less than a week to go, taking teammate Andreas Kloden--sitting pretty in fifth position--with him. If I were Andreas, I'd be pissed, but then maybe I'd be hoping I didn't get my ass caught too, since I'd be on the Astana team, a horrid joke of a doping conclave. Let's not forget that this was the gang of idiots that couldn't even field a…

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Boulder Cruiser Ride(s)


Yeah so last week I wrote a post that purported to be about a cool cruiser bike, but was really a platform for me to bitch about a local bike ride that I felt had fallen into a sad display of Boulder elitism. I railed against these people and their policy of requiring costumes and cruisers on the ride. Since that time, some of the people I was complaining about found my little rant, and posted some seemingly witty retorts; what they really did was show their true colors. Meanwhile, several other bastions of the true spirit of the ride emailed me off-line and showed me the seamy underbelly of the Boulder bikeride/cruiser/chill/hangout groove, and as you…

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Best Cruiser Ever


I must have one of these! The Ellsworth "The Ride" is the coolest cruiser bike ever, and I am now accepting donations towards the purchase of one of these bad boys. And I promise to ride it around Boulder and not be an elitist asshole like the local "Boulder Cruiser Bikeride" jerkoffs who have taken their little (formerly large) ride underground (sort-of) and excluded all people who show up on non-cruiser bikes or not in costume (and, let's face it, costumes are, like, totally stupid, even on Halloween). I realize I have not given sufficient back story on the Boulder Cruiser Ride, but I guess those assholes never gave me enough good times to do so. And now you have…

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This Guy Goes in First


There's an old joke that goes like this: Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start. And this schmuck is why that joke exists: Read: Tearful Testimony in $54 Million Pants Lawsuit The guy wants $54M for a pair of lost pants, and he's so upset about it that he broke down in tears as he questioned himself on the stand about his ordeal. Yes, you read that correctly. You have to love the author of the news story; clearly he was having a ball with this one. Best line: "The business owners claim they have his pants, but he's pressing ahead with his suit." Ba-dum, PISH!…

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Surf's Up (or, Sopranos Finale)


So, after eight absolutely fantastic fucking seasons, The Sopranos run has come to an end. The finale was a mixed bag, and the salt in the wound is that the lame-ish ending is followed by the premiere of a fucking surfer show. The Sopranos has entertained me on so many levels it will take much more than a blog post at this hour to explain it. Suffice to say, the lingo brings back memories of my youth and my quote database is proof of that. The first time Brenda & I watched the show we were in a hotel room with HBO and after 15 seconds of the opening sequence, where Tony drives through the Lincoln Tunnel, past the Hoboken…

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Still Sucking


The latest evidence of Outlook's suck-osity (right-click and select "view image" to see at full resolution):…

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Crash


So, my fabulous weekend came to an abrupt halt this morning, quite literally. As I was flying though the air, I thought, yep, weekend's over. Lemme back up a bit. I was riding to work, about to join the Foothills bike path when this dude making a right onto the Boulder Creek Path decides he's just going to use the entire bike path to make his turn. Problem was, I was thinking I might just use the right half of the path myself. We collided, I went flying up and over him and ended up on my back, thinking "what the hell just happened?" By the time I got to the office I was a little light headed and was…

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Dopes


What a bunch of idiots these guys are. With the Floyd Landis Show currently unfolding at Pepperdine University, complete with tales of Greg LeMond's weenie and an obsfucatory defense that would make Johnnie Cochran proud, now it appears that Oscar Pereiro -- the man who finished second to Landis in the 2006 Tour de France and the man who stands poised to claim a belated yellow jersey if Landis is proven guilty of cheating -- is also mixed up in the Operation Puerto scandal, the scandal that has already forced Jan Ullrich out of the sport and brought Ivan Basso into the darkest point of his career (and hopefully will rid the sport of Tyler Hamilton once and for all)…

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