One of the funniest monologues of the entire “The Office” series is the opening of the final episode of season two, where David Brent likens himself to Jesus Christ. The fact that David would compare himself to the son of god is hysterical enough, sure. But the best bit of that bit is when he talks of his future, where he envisions himself being successful in cities and towns beyond Slough, in the manner that Citizen Dick’s Cliff Poncier thought he was expanding beyond the Seattle scene.
I know many of you don’t receive the signals of The Office. So, I include here the monologue I speak of. It stands on its own:
I don’t look upon this like it’s the end, I look upon it like it’s moving on you know. It’s almost like my work here’s done. I can’t imagine Jesus going ‘Oh, I’ve told a few people in Bethlehem I’m the son of God, can I just stay here with Mum and Dad now?’ No. You gotta move on. You gotta spread the word. You gotta go to Nazareth, please. And that’s, very much like…me. My world does not end within these four walls, Slough’s a big place. And when I’ve finished with Slough, there’s Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell, you know I’ve got to-Didcott, Yately. You know. My-Winersh, Taplow. Because I am my own boss, I can-Burghfield. I can wake up one morning and go ‘Ooh, I don’t feel like working today, can I just stay in bed?’ ‘Ooh, don’t know, better ask the boss.’ ‘David can I stay in bed all day?’ ‘Yes you can David.’ Both me, that’s not me in bed with another bloke called David.”
The city/town list Brent lists is funny, all by itself. The way Ricky Gervais utters the towns’ names, and keeps coming up with other ones, is simply great comedy. But Brenda made the mistake of saying “I wonder how far apart those towns are, too.”, thus creating yet another useless project for me to waste my time on. As it turns out, David Brent’s circle (actually, it’s only a semi-circle biased to the west and avoiding London entirely) encompasses a radius of about 30 miles. Dawn is so right; David Brent is such a sad little man.