Today, a co-worker shared some of his recordings from when he was in a band. They had toured for a couple years, playing mostly in the Atlanta area, and were reasonably competent. A discussion arose regarding band names; I may have possibly brought it up.

You see, I have some really solid names for bands, and it pisses me off that I lack the musical talent, connections and material to plug into a band name. And tonight, I hit on the greatest album name ever, so now I'm really feeling down.

Lemme start with the band name: There are a few towns in New Jersey all ending with "Amboy", such as South Amboy, and Perth Amboy. When you drive through central New Jersey, you can easily come across a highway exit sign or two with destination references to, simply, "The Amboys".

The Amboys. Perhaps the Greatest Band Name Ever. Done.

This easily eclipses my alternate band name of "Best Before", which I feel is a witty play on the bread expiry dates found on those little plastic things you clip on bread loaves to stave off staleness. I always held these two band names on equal footing until today. For today, I was listening to NPR and heard a phrase that could only be the title for The Amboys' much-awaited second album: "Happy Zacarias". (The Amboys' first album would of course be eponoymously titled.)

The Amboys, Happy Zacarias. I'm totally seeing this as a hot download on the iTunes Music Store, aren't you?

So how'd the title come about? Well, the radio was talking about Zacarias Moussaoui's trial and how his defense lawyers (just when you thought Johnnie C was a piece of shit) were arguing that his childhood was a happy one, and the term "happy Zacarias" was floated out there. I thought it was pure brilliance, and was immediately delighted to have secured the second album title for my non-existent band's follow-up to my non-existent band's non-existent and eponoymously-titled first album. So, if I ever progress beyond barre chords and actually write a few tunes, you can bet that they will be unleashed on an unassuming public by The Amboys, with our best work appearing on "Happy Zacarias".

Our later releases will likely suck, but I will still get interviews in Rolling Stone because of my personality, bitches.