There's an old joke that goes like this:
Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
And this schmuck is why that joke exists:
The guy wants $54M for a pair of lost pants, and he's so upset about it that he broke down in tears as he questioned himself on the stand about his ordeal. Yes, you read that correctly. You have to love the author of the news story; clearly he was having a ball with this one. Best line: "The business owners claim they have his pants, but he's pressing ahead with his suit." Ba-dum, PISH!